Maybe this sounds familiar to you too? Just because calendar pages turned and it’s January and 2023, it doesn't feel right to “should” myself through new year’s intentions or the goals I've set for myself.
Instead, I remind myself that I can turn Shoulds into Coulds. I don’t want the pressure and weight of the word “should” in my mind and on my shoulders.
You see, when I was seven, I was hit by a car and broke my left shoulder. In 2001, I dislocated the very same shoulder… and then dislocated it again, a few years later. Although my shoulder has healed, pain comes back with a vengeance, especially when I am shoulding myself and pushing myself too hard. I now call my left shoulder my GPS, because when it’s screaming at me, it’s code for: “STOP. Change your direction. Change your perspective.”
Over the years, I learned that sometimes Shoulds can be Don’t-Wants in disguise. And because energy goes where the attention goes, I created this Don’t Wants list, so I can become aware of them and let them go. Maybe you’ll find this exercise helpful too.
Thanks to Reiki sessions and eventually learning to practice Reiki Self-Care, I began to listen to my body and what I needed. I began to slow down, be more mindful, become more present. I learned that the sense of self is so tied up with who we think we should be and what we think we should do. People spend so much time trying to make things work, fit in, do things right, be perfect. But we deplete ourselves, our resources, our time, our energy, and our lifeforce.
Your attention, time and energy are your most valuable resources. While time is not something that you can get back, you can redirect your attention and reset your energy. Not sure you can do this on your own? You don’t have to. Let’s connect. I’d love to hear about your situation and see if I can help.
P.S. If you feel that you could meditate, you can now access my free guided meditations here.
About Andrea Deierlein & Thrive Reiki, LLC: Andrea's work specializes in helping people transform the pain of life challenges and daily adversity through the practice of Reiki. She helps people struggling with stress, anxiety and overwhelm, to relax, calm down and breathe again. Focusing on stress management and the mind-body-connection, her clients shift out of survival mode, build focus and resilience. Connect with her on www.thrivereiki.com or follow her on Instagram @andreadeierlein
